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Days are passing by and each of us is dealing with a new way of getting through our days. I often say that we never understand exactly what someone else is going through. I truly believe this. Yet, I believe that sharing our triumphs, hardships, stories, etc. can help others around us.
Quarantine is hard for all of us to really grasp. Yes, I am lucky in so many ways. Yes, I am blessed to be healthy and able to work.
Yes, I am staying home and trying to keep my kids entertained when I am here. And yet.... I am an autism mom and some days just suck! Griffin has been saying “I cant wait till March is over.” I now know that this means he is looking for an end date to all this change. Griffin loves to shop, go out to eat, etc. just like many of us. So changing to no school, no routine that he is used to, no eating out, no shopping, and a lot more electronic interactions led us to this morning‘s breakdown.
As a 15 year old, Griffin does a decent job in having conversations and explaining his wants and needs. Discussing his emotions and feelings can sometimes be difficult.
This morning sounds like this:
”I am done with this home stuff”
”I don’t like animals anymore”
“I don't ever want to go to stores or restaurants again!”
”I am FEELING VERY ANGRY”
”I want to yell and stomp”
”I’m going to scare people”
”Dont you see my angry face mom”
”Mom, I said I was mad and angry”
I have learned through all the years as Griffin’s mom that the best way to assist him during these hard times is really the same as we all want to be treated:
-acknowledge his feelings “Its ok to feel angry” ”I know that your upset”
-explain that some of the things he says/feels match what he is closest to/feels safe by “I know when your upset or angry you say that you dont like animals and other things you love, when you feel happy again then you will like them again” “Its really hard right now to be home so much” ”I understand”
-remember to stay on top of his anxiety meds LOL and his eating. (No one wants Hangry on top of everything else)
And most importantly keep my calm and patience! This is not always an easy feat.
I am sure that this is not the only day we will deal with these emotion. There are a lot of questions that we don't have answers to. So for now I will continue to show patience. unconditional love, and honestly during all the uncertainty.
I am thinking of each of you parents during this time and wishing you health and patience beyond what you think your capable of.
Much love,
Lori Frederick, Executive Director #autismparents #2020quarantine