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Embracing the Journey: Letting Go of "Shoulds" in Autism Parenting

Updated: Aug 25, 2023



I recently attended a life-changing Masters in Autism training course. The course was filled with passionate and positive individuals who truly believe in the power of happiness, love, and acceptance. One of my favorite teachers shared a phrase that resonated deeply with me: "Stop chasing the should."


As parents, it's all too easy to constantly judge ourselves and feel like we're never "good enough" or doing "enough" for our children. Even when we dedicate an entire day to bonding with our kids, showering them with attention, and doing activities they love, we often find ourselves thinking, "We should do this more often" or "I should be devoting all my time to my child." This never-ending cycle of self-doubt and feeling inadequate plagues us as caregivers.


As a parent of a child with special needs, I've personally struggled with the persistent question of "What should my child be doing?" Constantly, professionals compare our child to their peers and remind us of the areas where our child may be falling behind. Society often focuses on what we're not doing or where we're lacking. This mentality fuels the relentless pursuit of the "shoulds" that elude us.


I firmly believe that it's time to challenge this mindset. Let's embrace the journey and let go of society's expectations. Together, we can create an environment of compassion, understanding, and acceptance for ourselves and our beautiful children.


Love to you all,


Lori Frederick

Executive Director

The Griffin Promise



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